Not for the faint hearted.

This post goes a little in depth to morality and 'life'. 

Just a warning.

Most of us hate the word itself, which is why we'd rather refrain from saying it. But in all truth, Abortion is a real issue. The reason I bring this up is because yesterday, I went to the clinic with one of my girlfriends. She's in a real pickle here. A month ago she had the feeling she was pregnant. No period, light spotting, even a little weight gain. I told her to take a test. Last week the results were positive. Now comes the moment of truth, keep it or abort it. Now, being she's only 21 years old, I have the utmost respect for her if she chooses the abort route. I personally believe that if the mother isn't ready to have a child, that the option should be put out there and legally allowed (here in HI, is). She knew that she was not ready and made her decision clear. She began looking for clinics with the service and came across many rude receptionists, as most people usually would be, given the situation at hand (to each their own). She finally found a place that said the cutoff was 10 weeks pregnant, and that she would need to find out how far along she was before they made any further decisions. With that said, I went with her to an ultrasound clinic yesterday. The woman had squeezed us in at the last minute, allowing us to get an ultrasound and virtually see the baby inside her (not the best visuals for a pre-abort mother, but still, necessary to determine the time we had). I almost cried.

The first images up on the giant plasma screen in front of us showed a fuzzy black and white image of the inside of a stomach, as I was imagining. The next image shocked me. From what looked like a kiwi, turned into a little baby lying sideways with its legs folded, arms in the air. That's right, arms. I could make out fingers and a nose, even. My girlfriend was shocked, but I was proud of her for not freaking out, like we had planned out earlier in the elevator ride up. The doctor gently ran the ultrasound stick over her stomach and tried to get the baby to move. It kicked. It moved. It almost did a little dance and I couldn't help but laugh. It was so cute. My girlfriend sat there, in a stable position, in awe. The doctor told us she was 14 weeks pregnant. That was 10 more than we had initially thought and my whole intentions for helping her find an abortion specialist slowly washed down the drain...the drain of my morals. 

With a copy of the ultrasound in hand going down the elevator, the three of us, I kept thinking, went to eat dinner. There goes happy hour. I did not want her drinking, partying, doing any kind of rough activity. Call me mother, but I felt like I saw into the birthing of my own child. I asked her how she was doing and she said she was fine. A lot more stable than I would've been. I asked her if her decision had changed and she said no. With that said, I had a lot of stuff on my mind, letting her know only about 50%, most being the 'do what's right for you' side. The other 50% of me wanted to tell her to keep it, to give it up for adoption if anything, seeing how far along the baby already was. Even when I joked around with her about how we could be using the HOV lane for carpooling, I felt the morality kick in. I care about her so much, and I want what's best for her, especially while she's in a sticky situation. If her decision is to rid it, I will stand by her 100%, whether it is morally or realistically incorrect. It's her body, her life, her decision, and that's what I believe any woman or girl has the right to act upon. 

Realistically, would you support abortions considering the mother wouldn't be ready to handle a child? She could consider adoption, but she'd still have to go through the pregnancy for 9 months, leaving her with emotional and physical after effects.

Morally, would you support abortions knowing and seeing that a another life is blossoming inside a human that isn't ready?

Given all of life's ups and downs, a more serious problem arises once in a while.

This one is truly dealing with life.

Newton's Law.

A seed is planted.

An apple tree grows.

An apple forms.

The apple falls.

If we use this analogy, friendship mixed with sex could be the apple itself.

Example:

Friends

Friends

Friends

Stable Friendship

Until a blundering situation occurs...

It happens.

Once you hook up with your buddy, the normal friendship is only going downhill from there...

The aftershock.

The awkwardness.

The silence.

Yes, the apple falls far from the tree it was once growing on. The apple grew from the seed, experienced a good time on top, and dropped to the ground to be eaten, or well, started as another seed in the ground. 

The friendship that stemmed from the seed before an apple was formed seems to have gone to turmoils because of a simple act of sex. Does this actually happen? I saw it happen just now. A friendship that was once a stability turned to accused reactions, false hope, and a general ending, sad to say.

Conclusion: Control your hormones. Realize that actions have consequences and what goes up must come down. People are feeling holders. Unless you are complete strangers, there's no other way to go from down to up.

The Human Experience

"When you go somewhere out of your own comfort zone, out of your own realm, that's learning."

I watched this documentary last night before I went to bed. It made me cry from half an hour in to end. There are some perspectives that can trigger every single person, especially when they involve homelessness, children, disabilities, and 'the journey'.

This film follows two young brothers and their friends travelling across the globe in search of the human experience. Through feeling powerless and humility to rising above the feeling of life, they encounter a mass array of emotions and eye-opening experiences. Human experiences. Interviews with a doctor, a rabbi, a reverend, spiritual, artistic, medical, and philosophic experts are showcased throughout the film, alongside the beautiful cinematography and montages.

Family is a big component of this movie. Struggles and trials will be handed to you throughout your lifetime, your beautiful lifetime, and it is part of this hardship that we get from beginning to end, a full plate of life experiences and knowledge. With the people, family or extended family around in your life, love is there. If the world is all about people, we must work towards helping one another, as we are all brothers and sisters. This is an easy perspective to forget in the modern world.

Things I thought about throughout watching:

Life is for other people.
We work hard to live because we know that we are valuable, to someone out there.

Objects are unnecessary.

A person committing suicide will regret it at last moment's breath.

Life is significantly precious.

Homeless people are equivalent to spiritual leaders.

A child's emotion is the most powerful in the world.
Drama is interesting to us because it is life's lessons, in anyone's point of view.

Inside is more beautiful than the out.

Warped mind-settings are scattered all around us, choose wisely.

Travel > nice car, clothes, material objects.

We will feel the need to live, no matter what the circumstances, that's how valuable the breath of life is.

Passion is the gas to our soul-cars.

With a wholesome family bond comes strength for human experiences, without them, we are set back a couple of steps, but who's to say that doesn't make the experience more worthwhile?

Watch this movie if you get the chance. Maybe it won't change your life, but it will bring some human back into your life. 

"Life is other people. It's just that simple. And if you view each of the others that you meet as being a component of yourself, it can change things."

(Happy Labor Day.)

Chitter Chatter Blibber Blabber

So I was massaging this guy today, a Brian. Around his 40-early 50's, he had come into the spa once before. That time, we talked about tattoos and religion for an hour. For today's sesh, we got chatty about a few very sex-toastable-things.

1. How beautiful people in Hawaii are.

This is so true and I notice and appreciate this beauty every time I leave the island. It could be the weather, the sun, the positive vibes, the 'HI time' but all otherwise, we have an enormous melting pot and I believe that's what brings out the beauty in people, even of one background. Hapa (mixed backgrounds) people are beautiful. It's like how I describe my friend Matt. He looks full Japanese from some angles, complete with sun-highlighted hair, squinty eyes, and the surfer boy thing going on. But from face on, I can see the white in him. Especially when he goes 'Ya the waves are looking nice Ya?'. White boy talk. I love the culture here. So does Brian.

2. How hapa people are almost idolized by every culture in this day and age.

When I think of this statement, I immediately think of ViVi, a Japanese magazine consisting of only Eurasian models (half Japanese, half some-kind-of-white). "There's pretty women in the world....then there are women so gorgeous, they almost take the air out of the room" said Brian, as I propped him on his words. I know exactly what he's talking about. Shannyn Sossamon. Drop deadly. I do believe this is not only a fad right now, but a lovely way to view people and cultures. When you see someone so beautiful, you might wonder, what ARE they? We're usually attracted to exotic or different looking features, hence, when we see mixed backgrounds, we tend to stare for a moment. 

3. Why we are attracted to people in the first place.

I watched a documentary on Discovery channel last week on 'Why women have orgasms', which was mostly besides the point, considering the little shenanigans in between caught my interest a whole lot more. Why we are attracted to people and what makes us attracted, attracted me. Studies were done and showed that the more proportional a person was (body type, face structure/shape, eyes, nose, mouth, etc), the more attractive they were to the person. Keep in mind, that everyone has a different 'type' (to each their own), but to the majority of the population, this is how the ball rolls. People like even-ness. They like to see good genes in a mate, thus creating healthy offspring. It's very simple when thought about in animalistic terms. We ARE all animals anyways....aren't we?

4. How those 1920's old time ads are so socially corrupt and sexist.

5. And how times have changed.

You can't not only speak to a woman like that in this day and age, but you could be arrested for it. It's illegal to discriminate and that's lovely. Men and women are in a fair game now. They have each proven to the world that they are capable of doing anything from being elected into office to roller-derbying. Men are tough, but women are tougher (theoretically).

6. This is the theory we concluded to: Men are externally strong, but women have it internally. 

I stand by this and have since the day I heard it from one of my instructors a few years ago. She explained to us how men were always viewed as the higher power, because starting from caveman days, they were the ones to hunt, fish, protect, etc. The women were there for moral support. Birthing, feeding, tidying, the 'easy stuff'. Little did anyone notice, as time went on, that the roles would eventually even out, and possibly reverse. Although majority of the world will view roles on a physicality level, that's only one side of the story. Women have internal strength that can only be measured through experience. Childbirth, labor, PERIODS!!!, cramps, hormone levels, risk of pregnancy, risk of HPV, stress from risk of things like this, and most of all, having to deal with Men's perspective of women 'not being able to open a bottle of ketchup'. Brian said it and said it well: "Women are the power source". Amen Brian, AMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEN.

In this world, there are many ways to view the opposite sex and you won't find someone to put it as easy as Brian did, or the next peace-maker available. Racism, sexism, prejudice is real and that's the sad thing about the world. As beautiful as our cultures may be, how attractive we may be, as animalistic as we may be, as times change and perspectives fluctuate, you can't have all good without some bad. It's reality. If we could just find a balance......

The Bootycall.

That should be the name of my dog, if I ever get one. 'Bootycall! Bootycall! BOOTYCALL! GET OVER HERE'. I would always have one to call.

Bootycalls are so last night. They happen in the wee hours of dawn and end when the sun comes up. It's like how Shrek's girlfriend turns into an ogre. Call it the Fiona.

So when people Fiona each other, what they're really doing is feeding their sexual appetite. Is that so wrong? Not at all. Just make sure you have the reigns on your FEELINGS!

Does anyone watch Jersey Shore? *75 people raise their hand, 25 too ashamed to*...I do. And what this fiesta of a sitcom is saying to me is: Sex is in the eye of the beholder. Nothing wrong with it, however, when 7 million people are tuning into you hooking up with a total stranger after too many shots at Karma, sex may look disrespectful. It's not though. Do it with the right intentions.

Intention with the Fiona being: Keep it mutual, respectful, and crystal clear.
Do not involve emotions. OH DEAR GOD do not involve emotions. There's a reason you're quick-banging, right? You're releasing stress, you're feeding the appetite, you're keeping yourself happy (in a moment's time). So remember that it is U that is getting into the situation and it is U that is leaving the morning after/watching the other person dress and go. I guess I've done it too many times before, but there's been an even amount of suitors that have committed the clinger too.

Clinger example: "Let's get breakfast"
"Can we shower together?"
"What are you doing later today?"

If you do this, I feel for you. It sucks to be the clinger when the other person is wax paper. (Actually, think about it, if both people were clingers, they'd be saran wrap at the point when it's so hard to uncling that you throw it away and rip off a new one...AKA bad situation. Two clingers is worse than one. My hypothesis). I just don't want another soul being shredded apart by the sharp edge of the ripper.

By avoiding situations like this, both hornies must be mutual. Whether it's a handshake, a wink, a pat on the back, make the field rules clear: This is just physical and it's just with you/it's just with you and so-and-so/it's just with you and the rest of your friends/I'm banging everyone else too btw. Seriously, communication is serious. With this mutual agreement, respect is also traded. By letting this person know your intentions, you're giving them knowledge of what's to come so they're not blindsighted at the last minute.

Blindsight example: "I just found out you slept with my friend"
-"You said we're not dating"
"......WHATEVER I HATE YOU!"

So take my advice on this one, make sure you and the other person are well aware of the situation and where you both stand. One person might have feelings, while the other one has no clue. In which case, the Fiona should not even be pulled off. This can be dangerous if continued unspoken. By keeping things crystal clear, bootycalls can turn out healthy, enjoyable and beneficial to both people and their hormones.

In the case of eliminating drama, express yourself and your thoughts. Even if you think that could jeopardize what you both have. They're only your bootycalls, it's not like you're holding onto a life's commitment here (unless of course this is your friend and you want to keep the relationship healthy. Read Friends with Benefits). It's important to realize that the people in your life are there for the vibe you put out. Keeping your feelings in can be just as wrong as leading someone on. In this case, you'd be leading yourself on. Take good care of yourself and remember that there are other things in the world besides sex. Like dogs and hobbies.

Happy Fiona-ing.