This post goes a little in depth to morality and 'life'.
Just a warning.
Most of us hate the word itself, which is why we'd rather refrain from saying it. But in all truth, Abortion is a real issue. The reason I bring this up is because yesterday, I went to the clinic with one of my girlfriends. She's in a real pickle here. A month ago she had the feeling she was pregnant. No period, light spotting, even a little weight gain. I told her to take a test. Last week the results were positive. Now comes the moment of truth, keep it or abort it. Now, being she's only 21 years old, I have the utmost respect for her if she chooses the abort route. I personally believe that if the mother isn't ready to have a child, that the option should be put out there and legally allowed (here in HI, is). She knew that she was not ready and made her decision clear. She began looking for clinics with the service and came across many rude receptionists, as most people usually would be, given the situation at hand (to each their own). She finally found a place that said the cutoff was 10 weeks pregnant, and that she would need to find out how far along she was before they made any further decisions. With that said, I went with her to an ultrasound clinic yesterday. The woman had squeezed us in at the last minute, allowing us to get an ultrasound and virtually see the baby inside her (not the best visuals for a pre-abort mother, but still, necessary to determine the time we had). I almost cried.
The first images up on the giant plasma screen in front of us showed a fuzzy black and white image of the inside of a stomach, as I was imagining. The next image shocked me. From what looked like a kiwi, turned into a little baby lying sideways with its legs folded, arms in the air. That's right, arms. I could make out fingers and a nose, even. My girlfriend was shocked, but I was proud of her for not freaking out, like we had planned out earlier in the elevator ride up. The doctor gently ran the ultrasound stick over her stomach and tried to get the baby to move. It kicked. It moved. It almost did a little dance and I couldn't help but laugh. It was so cute. My girlfriend sat there, in a stable position, in awe. The doctor told us she was 14 weeks pregnant. That was 10 more than we had initially thought and my whole intentions for helping her find an abortion specialist slowly washed down the drain...the drain of my morals.
With a copy of the ultrasound in hand going down the elevator, the three of us, I kept thinking, went to eat dinner. There goes happy hour. I did not want her drinking, partying, doing any kind of rough activity. Call me mother, but I felt like I saw into the birthing of my own child. I asked her how she was doing and she said she was fine. A lot more stable than I would've been. I asked her if her decision had changed and she said no. With that said, I had a lot of stuff on my mind, letting her know only about 50%, most being the 'do what's right for you' side. The other 50% of me wanted to tell her to keep it, to give it up for adoption if anything, seeing how far along the baby already was. Even when I joked around with her about how we could be using the HOV lane for carpooling, I felt the morality kick in. I care about her so much, and I want what's best for her, especially while she's in a sticky situation. If her decision is to rid it, I will stand by her 100%, whether it is morally or realistically incorrect. It's her body, her life, her decision, and that's what I believe any woman or girl has the right to act upon.
Realistically, would you support abortions considering the mother wouldn't be ready to handle a child? She could consider adoption, but she'd still have to go through the pregnancy for 9 months, leaving her with emotional and physical after effects.
Morally, would you support abortions knowing and seeing that a another life is blossoming inside a human that isn't ready?
Given all of life's ups and downs, a more serious problem arises once in a while.
This one is truly dealing with life.
Wow this is a little rough. Okay, she is very lucky to have a friend like you. If I was her and I didn't have a friend, I would go CRAZY!
ReplyDeleteI feel for her, your friend. I try not to judge people, so I feel she should what her heart wants. In this situation, I try not to listen to my brain too much. It's like my brain is the "evil" twin and my heart is the "good" twin. If her heart truly feels that abortion is the way to go, then we all (meaning womanhood) should support her decision. You are right, it's her body, her child, her decision. Oh, that should be a bumper sticker.
My good friend had an abortion once with her then boyfriend, but couple months later she got pregnant again and decided to keep the baby. Every time she sees her son, she thinks about that baby. She always compares their ages and wonder if it was a boy or girl....that kind of stuff.
Adoption is a good idea, too. I think the hardest thing about adoption is letting go of something that you bonded with over 9 months. I've seen videos on women who didn't want their baby, but still cried and screamed after they let the baby go. It was a sad sight and my heartaches for them.
Well, tell your friend, that she has at least one person (besides you) supporting her decision and that she shouldn't feel bad for making a decision that other people don't like. It's her life, her decision...no one else.
Thanks Jen,
ReplyDeleteI talked to her a little while ago and she (hadn't told her boyfriend about it, thinking it might change their relationship), but did tell him a few days ago. He was sad that she felt she couldn't tell him. But they are going in for the abortion service next week. I'm so glad he knows. Something like this is a big deal, probably the biggest of all of life's issues. She is handling it so well, I know if I were her I'd be sad, knowing this baby is in me. If she were a few more weeks pregos, they would have to opt for just having the baby, which in my eyes, is on the same level of moral problems. Whether or not the mother wants to keep the baby, there's a bond there. They were 2 souls connected and being torn away from your child is never a good feeling. My heart aches for those mothers as well.
Thanks for the imput!