I don't like my best friend's boyfriend.

Ever happened to you?

Let me start off by explaining a little bit of last night...

It was my best friend's going-away party. We had about 10 people with us, 4 of us being the original clan mates from middle school. Of course, her boyfriend came along which was no biggie. We had a couple rounds of drinks/pitchers/shots and spent good quality time together. We left a few hours later, and had carpooled, so I was driving best friend, her boyfriend, and one of my other girlfriends home. We're leaving the area, joking with each other, and I call the boyfriend by his ethnic name (which my friend had told me a week prior, and happened to be really funny). He took it waaay out of proportion, feeling attacked and drunk at the same time. He starts going off, bad-mouthing, and dropping a low-blow, bringing up my personal issues. I was getting beyond irritated with him at this point and pulled over, giving him an ultimatum. I told him he was being a drunken dickhead and that he was taking things way too personally. He could either get out and walk home or shut up for the rest of the ride home. He shot back with "You don't know me!" and I really didn't want to anymore. We argued like grown children for a time being, as his mouth led me to telling him to GTFO of the car. He flipped on me, saying how messed up that would be and that I'd have to get cops over there to get him out of the car. This argument was getting ridiculous. My poor friend was sitting there looking distressed, while my other friend was trying to calm both of us down. I realized how stupid we were being, as it was my friend's last night with us and apologized to her, deciding to drop him off. Now what really upset me was not the fact that she was staying with him that night, not the fact that I drove around listening to him go off about his upbringing for the rest of the ride, but the fact that she, my best friend, was in love with this guy. It crushed me. 

"We can't change others. We can only change ourselves (and accept the unchangeable)"

Ultimately, when we are put in sour situations like the one last night, there's a fine line between helping and controlling. We can't change anything that is out of our control. It is not natural, nor is it in our power to conduct someone else's life. The most we can do is be a lending hand, giving our loved ones the best intentions we can offer as friends, knowing and respecting their wishes, as we would want them to do for us. 

As her best friend, I'll always want the best for her. Even though I feel like she could be with someone better, she picked him for reasons I can't understand, and shouldn't feel the need to. I can give her all the advice possible, yet in the end, it is her life and I respect her decisions.

Upon waking up this morning, my best friend's boyfriend had blown up my phone with apology texts and sorries. Knew it. With everything that has happened in the few months we have met and known each other (and majority of the time, disliking him), he is not a bad person. I swallow some pride when I say that, but I do mean it. He makes her happy and that's all I ever want for my friends. If he is someone that will be connected to my friend in the long run, he is someone I'd like to keep close.

Like M. Scott Peck said:

Share our similarities, celebrate our differences.

(Just don't celebrate those differences with too much alcohol or you might end up like the people in that picture)